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Book tips:

for grownups:
Mommy please don`t cry...there are no tears in heaven - Linda Deymaz ( really cute illustration-helps in sad moments)
Empty Cradle,broken heart-Deborah L.Davis, Ph.D. ( Tips and ways how to survive the death of your child)

for kids:
We were gonna have a baby, but We had an angel instead-Pat Schwiebert
( good for to explain little kids about your special baby and that it has to go to heaven)


Leyna`s poems/ Gedichte
(in English and / und Deutsch)






To my daughter Leyna Marie

I miss you little one,

Still don’t understand

Why are you gone?

 

So much time has passed by,

Still so many questions

And no answer why.

 

I wish you could see,

All the dreams I had,

For you, daddy and me.

 

I know you were just able to stay for a while,

Precious moments I remember,

They even let me smile.

 

I wish I could call your name,

Hear you answer,

Life without you never goanna be the same.

 

I hope wherever you are,

You can feel my love

And know I never will be away far.

 

I see at night the stars in the sky,

Tears rolling over my face

And I sing you your favorite lullaby.

 

I still remember your first sound,

It made me so happy

And I still can hear it all around.

 

I hope you know I am care,

Missing you

And wish you were here.

 

I always will remember your beautiful little face,

Never forget

And wish you are now in a better place.

 

I never will see you growing up in the up coming years,

It makes me so sad

And brings in my face never ending tears.

 

The Angels called sooner for you then planned,

I am left behind,

Still having a hard time to understand.

 

I miss you so much, especially at night,

I cry hard and it makes me feel sometimes,

Like I never get out of that dark light.

 

In my heart you will forever stay,

Wait for me,

Till I see you in heaven one day!!!

                                                                  


I love you “Leynie Bear”  ~ Your Mommy









(I got this card with the leafe and the rain trop/ tear from the hospital. They put it on my door when we lost Leyna and also when I had my last m/c, so everyone would know we had a loss. This card is still hanging on our front door. I think it reminds people that we didn`t forgot our baby`s!!! And it reflects really good what we have to go through. One day there is hope and the next day there is sadness. The feelings change constandly!)



To Our Baby

We cannot hold you in our arms
We cannot call your name
We cannot see your tiny face
But we love you just the same

We cannot hold your little hand
Or hear your sweet soft baby sounds
But our hearts are filled with thoughts of you
And your memory is all around
It`s in the sparkling sunlight
In the clouds flying `cross the sky
It`s in the spring song of a bird
In a baby`s lullaby

Though we cannot hold you in our arms
In our hearts you will always stay
So sleep sweet baby in the Fathers arms
Till we join you one day in heaven one day
(Author unknown)




A Visitor from heaven

A visitor from heaven
If only for a while
A gift of love to be returned
We think of you and smile
A visitor from heaven
Accompanied by grace
Reminding of a better love
And a better place
With aching hearts and empty arms
We send you with a name
It hurts so much to let you go
But we`re so glad you came
A visitor from heaven
If only for a day
We thank you for the time you gave
And now it`s time to say
We trust you to the fathers love
And to his tender care
Held in his everlasting arms
But we`re so sad you`re there
With breaking hearts and open hands
We send you with a name
It hurts so much to let you go
But were so glad you came

xxxxxxxx
Leyna Marie, we glad you came!
xxxxxxxx

(Author unknown)



A Gift Of Love

A gift of love was given
For just a little while
A gift of laogh and laughter
In a precious little child
Someone to steal yor heart away
A little hand to hold
Tiny footprints `cross your life
Now left upon your soul
The echoes of soft laughter
The sweetnes of that face
The child who brought you so much joy
Will never be replaced
So take each loving memory
Of that precious little child
In knowing a gift came down from God
If for just a little while



Precious Child

Precious little child of mine
You were my sweetest dream
When you took your journey home
I wonder what was seen
I knew the angels whispered
From the look upon your face
I knew that you where going
To a restful, peaceful place
And while my arms are empty
My heart is filled with dreams
Of you at peace in heaven
That place eyes have not seen
So rest my child in God safe arms
Let angels kiss your face
Till then,I hold you in my heart
Till I meet you in that place




Der geborgte Stern



Es war einmal ein kleiner Stern,
der leuchtete am Himmel gern.
Doch gern wollte er auch mal die Erde erblicken
und ließ sich mit viel Schwung zu den Erdlingen schicken.
Alle waren ganz entzückt.
Die Ankunftsaktion war also geglückt!
Wenig Gramm verteilt auf kleine Länge -
oh je, was für eine schwache Menge.
Der kleine Stern war ganz betrübt,
hatte er sich schließlich so bemüht!
Mühe alleine genügte nicht,
das zeigte täglich dann das Licht.
Hilfen kamen von allen Seiten, sollten heilen und begleiten.
Aber Sternchen wollte lieber gehen
und an seinem alten Platz am Himmel stehen...
Zurück bleiben die Erdlinge und trauern,
aber gewiss ist,
Leuchtesternchen wird den Schritt niemals bedauern.

 


Baby Tears


We cried tears when we learned that a child would be,

that our God had allowed you to quicken in me.
We cried tears with our loved ones as they shared our joy,
and we thought about names for a girl or a boy.
I cried tears as I thought of the things we would do,
all the things that your daddy would pass on to you.
I cried tears as I thought of each inch you had grown, as I pondered the day that you'd make yourself known.
Then to think of the world you must enter brought fears,
once again little loved one your mother cried tears.
Something's wrong,
I can tell - once again there are tears,

 
and I'll not get the chance of your love through the years.
 
Oh the ache and the sorrow and all of the pain,
 
and again, yes again my tears fall like rain.
Then his peace comes to me as I think of you there,

gently rocking with Father in His favorite chair.
 
Your sweet little fingers clenched tight in his palm,
 
and His Son softly singing to help you keep calm.
Our God knew your days before you came to be,
and He knew little one you would not stay with me,
so I cry,
but I know that when this life is done,

 
I will greet and embrace you my sweet little one.
There's a time to be born and a time to die,
and the joy and the sorrow both make us cry.


~Connie Johnson~









What Makes a Mother


I thought of you and closed my eyes.
And prayed to God today. I asked what makes a mother and I know I heard him say,
A mother has a baby. This we know is true. But God, can you be a mother when your baby's not with you?
Yes, you can, He replied with confidence in His voice. I give many women babies. When they leave is not their choice.
Some I send for a lifetime and others for a day. And some I send to feel your womb but there's no need to stay.
I just don't understand this. God, I want my baby here. He took a breath and cleared His throat and then I saw a tear.
I wish I could show you what your child is doing today. If you could see your child smile with other children and say,
"We go to earth to learn our lessons of life and love and fear. My Mommy loved me, Oh so much, I got to come straight here.
I feel so lucky to have a Mom who had so much love for me, I learned my lesson very quickly. My Mommy set me free.
I miss my Mommy, Oh so much, but I visit her each day. When she goes to sleep, on her pillow's where I lay.
I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek and whisper in her ear, 'Mommy don't be sad today, I'm your baby and I'm here.'"
So you see, my dear sweet one, your children are okay. Your babies are here in MY home and this is where they'll stay.
They'll wait for you with ME until your lesson is through. And on the day that you come home, they'll be at the gates for you.
So now you see what makes a Mother— It's the feeling in your heart. It's the love you had so much of, right from the very start.
Though some on earth may not realize you are a Mother, until their time is done. They'll be up here with ME one day, and know you're the best one.

~Jennifer Wasik~

written in memory of her son Zachery 01/29/98






O Precious


O precious, tiny sweet little one,
You will always be to me
So perfect, pure and innocent
Just as you were meant to be:
We dreamed of you and your life
And all that it would be,
We waited and longed for you to come
And join our family
We never had the chance to play,
To laugh, to rock, to wiggle
We long to hold you, touch you now
And listen to you giggle,
I'll always be your Mom,
He'll always be your Dad,
You will always be our child,
The child that we had,
But now you're gone...
But yet, you're here,
We'll sense you everywhere:
You are our sorrow and our joy
There's love in every tear.
Just know our love goes deep and strong,
We'll forget you never.
The child we had, but never had
And yet will have forever.
Author Unknown








When God sends forth a tiny soul

To learn the ways of earth.
A mother's love is wating here We call this wonder birth.
When God calls home a lille soul And stills a fleeting breath A Father's love is wating there, This too is birth, not death






They Don't Know What to Say

This poem is dedicated to my parents, Archie and Elaine Bert

NOW I KNOW I never knew,

when you lost your child, What you were going through. I wasn't there, I stayed away, I just deserted you.
I didn't know the words to say, I didn't know the things to do. I think your pain so frightened me, I didn't know how to comfort you.
And then one day my child died. You were the first one there. You quietly stayed by my side, listened, And held me as I cried. You didn't leave, you didn't go. The lesson learned is . . . Now I know.

This poem was written by Alice Kerr of Lower Bucks, PA. She is a member of the Compassionate Friends, an organization for parents who have lost a child.


I'll Lend You a Child

I'll lend you for a little while a child of mine", God said.
"For you to love the while she lives and mourn for when she's gone.
It may be one or seven years- or twenty-two or three.
But will you, till I call her back, take care of her for me?
She'll bring her charms to gladden you and should her stay be brief.
You'll have her lovely memories as solace for your grief.
I cannot promise she will stay since all from earth return.
But there are lessons taught down there I want this child to learn.
I've looked the wide world over in my search for teachers true
and from the throngs that crowd life's lanes, I have selected you.
Now will you give her all your love and not think the labor vain.
Nor hate me as I come to call to take her back again?
I fancied that I heard you say, "Dear God, Thy will be done.
For all the joy this child shall bring. The risk of grief I'll run".
I'll shelter her with tenderness. I'll love her while I may.
And for the happiness I've known. Forever grateful stay.
But should the angels call for her much sooner than I'd planned.
I'll brave the bitter grief that comes and try to understand.
by Edgar Guest

Der Himmel ist hell, der Himmel ist blau
und irgendwie, das weiss ich genau,
irgendwo da oben und ganz bestimmt nicht allein,
irgendwo da oben musst Du sein.
Auf einer Wolke oder so, aber ganz bestimmt dort oben irgendwo.

 

                                                                   

Kleine Seele, ich lass Dich gehn,   
werde ich es auch nie ganz verstehn.
Du hattest bestimmt Deinen Grund dazusein,
und doch liessest Du mich viel zu früh allein.
Irgendwie fühle ich, Dir geht es gut,
das macht mir Hoffnung, macht mir Mut.
Kleine Seele, ich lass Dich gehn,
werde ich Dich auch nie mehr riechen, fühlen und sehn.
Du hast mir gezeigt, wie schön die Sterne glühn
und wie schön die Blumen blühn.
Kleine Seele, ja ich lass Dich gehn,
irgendwann werden wir uns wiedersehn.
Ich durfte für kurze Zeit einen Engel tragen,
dafür möchte ich Dir DANKE sagen.
Danke für die Zeit, die uns blieb,
mein Liebling, ich habe Dich sehr lieb.





L iebe verbindet uns

U nvergänglich wie die Errinerung an Dich

K ostbare Augenblicke

A uf ewig werden wir Dich im Herzen tragen

S o kann uns niemand trennen -für immer-

kleiner Sonnenschein Du fehlst uns so sehr

deine Mommy dein Daddy




Kleiner zarter Schmetterling
Kleiner zarter Schmetterling auf meiner Hand,
warum bewegst du deine Flügel nicht?
Ich lege dich sanft auf ein grünes Moosbett,
versuche dir Leben einzuhauchen.
Vergebens, du wirst dich nie der
wärmenden Sonne zuwenden,
niemals dem Himmel nahe sein,
kleiner zarter Schmetterling auf meiner Hand.




Kleine Seele

Kleine Seele ich laß Dich gehen,
denn ich weiß wir werden uns wiedersehen.
Dein Leben hier auf Erden war viel zu schnell vorbei.
Ich liebe Dich, deshalb gebe ich Dich frei.

Dein Leiden hat jetzt eine Ende,
Ich übergebe Dich in mächtigere Hände.
Kleine Seele es tut sehr weh,
doch ich hoffe daß Du gut über den Regenbogen gehst..

Kleine Seele ich laß Dich gehen,
denn ich weiß wir werden uns wiedersehen..





Du hast ein Recht auf deine Trauer.

Du darfst Dich Deinen Verlusten widmen, mußt nicht verdrängen, was Dich beschwert.Du hast ein recht, das abzutrauern, was Dich so tief enttäuscht hat und was Du nicht ändern kannst.

Du hast ein recht auf Deine Tränen, auf Dein Schweigen, Deine Ratlosikeit, auf Deine innere und äußere Abwesenheit. Du mußt nicht den glücklichen spielen, nicht über den Dingen stehen.

Du hast ein Recht, die wegzuschicken,die Dich mit Gewalt aus Deiner Trauer herausholen wollen, weil Deine Trauer sie selbst bedroht. Du hast ein Recht auf deine Trauerzeit.

Du hast ein Recht, mit denen nicht reden zu wollen, die Dir ein schlechtes Gewissen machen für Deine Dunkelheit und Trauer. Die mit Sprüchen kommen und Dich mit diesen Sprüchen unter Druck zu setzten versuchen. Du hast ein Recht auf deine Trauerstille.

Du hast ein Recht, Dich zu wehren gegen die, die Dir sagen, was Du fühlen darfst und was nicht, die Dich nicht als einelnen, sondern als Fall behandeln und sich innerlich nicht wirklich mit Dir einzulassen.

Vielleicht macht Dich nichts so menschlich wie Deine Trauer. Über sie kann ein Trauernder sich Dir nähern und auf Verständnis hoffen. Trauern zu können ist eine Gabe. Laß Dir das Recht auf Deine Trauer nicht nehmen.


 

Wo man Engel sieht


Wenn sich ein Regenbogen über den Himmel spannt,
dann gehen die Engel darauf über Land.
Wenn ein silberner Stern durch die Wolken schuppt,
kann es sein, daß er sich als Engel entpuppt.
Wenn uns am Abend die Sonne rot brennend verläßt,
dann feiern die Engel über den Bergen ein Fest.
Und wenn`s leise flüstert: "Ich habe dich gern!",
dann ist ein Engel gar nicht so fern.


 

 

A Letter from Above

 

Dear Mom and Dad,

I know this is a rough time for you. So I will be as gentle as I can be.

First of all, thank you for so many tears, particularly those shared with another that you love. They are a gift to me, a precious tribute to your investment in me.

As you do your mourning, do it at your pace only. Don’t let anybody suggest that you do your grief work on their timetable. Do whatever it takes to face directly the reality of what has happened, even though you may need to pause frequently and yearn for my return. Do this with courage and my blessings. Know that sometimes inertia is the only movement possible.

Give your best to keeping a balance between remembering me and renewing your commitments to life. It’s O.K. with me if you go through minutes, hours and even days not thinking about me. I know that you’ll. never forget. Loosening me and grabbing hold of a new meaning is a delicate art. I’m not sure if one comes before the other or not, maybe it’s a combination.

Be with people who accept you as you are. Mention my name out loud, and if they don’t make a hasty retreat, they’re probably excellent candidates for friendship.

If, by a remote possibility, you think that there is anything that you could have done for me and didn’t. I forgive you, as my Lord does. Resentment does not abide here, only love.

You know how people sometimes ask you how many children you have? Well, I’m still yours and you are still my parents. Always acknowledge that with tenderness, unless to do so would fall on insensitive ears or would be painful to you. I know how you feel inside. To be included as your child honours me.

Read, even though your tears anoint the page. There is an immense library here and I have a card. In Henri Nowens’ “Out of Solitude”, he writes, “The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair and confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not healing, and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.”


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